Who Am I?

Am I him?

Am I the sorrow?

Am I she?

Who is she?

Beautiful? Intelligent?

Shriveled? Subservient?

Can I make an intelligent decision

For my shriveled soul?

Can I be beautiful

In a subservient pose?

I once knew -

Who I was

What I wanted

Where I went.

Now –

I make no plans

I dream no dreams

I go nowhere.

I walk

With my head down.

I walk

With my eyes closed.

I walk

With hope dying.

I once ran

Full speed ahead

Eyes to the future

Dreaming of adventure.

Walking is safer, adventure is

Fear of failure, losing

My soul

It aches

With loss,

Loss I have not tasted;

Except

In looking back at a young woman

I knew so well

Who ran, climbed, flew even

With so much energy, so much confidence.

She sang along with a nun, a song of confidence -

I silently cry

And cower.

Is this me?

Fears?

Tears?

Loss?

Pain?

A life lived in shadow,

But whose?

Shadows prevent burns,

Prevent growth.

Water leaps from red eyes

Trying to quench barren land

Scorched from unfailing attention.

Too much of one, too little of another.

Unbalanced

Is this who I am?

By Karen Robertson

1/25/12

My Birthday!!!

A gift from Colette

My birthday cake (Red Velvet from Costco) and my new ED tool - the Leatherman Raptor!

In honor of my birthday, my dad told a few stories about my glorious soccer days. Here's the photographic proof that I was once quite athletic...

Grandma's Ring and the Puppies

Mom needed to get Grandma's diamond ring appraised. This is what it looks like. I think the diamonds are unfortunately arranged in the shape of a creepy hand...

Aunt Jane's miniature schnauzer puppies had their ears docked and these are their dressings. Little Shriner dogs!

Sleepy Head

Work is exhausting, even on my days off. And Koda takes advantage of any nap time.

Hazmat Training

Hazmat training included donning and doffing of the exposure suits. This is what we wear if a patient(s) arrives after a chemical exposure. We clean the patient in this suit in a special shower room in the emergency department. It is hot, hard to see, and very bulky. You can only be in the suit for certain lengths of time, depending on the outside temperature.

Riding the FrontRunner

I was riding the train home after working a night shift in Murray. Between Draper and Lehi, there was a loud bang on the side and under the train. We stopped for a bit in Lehi while the train conductor checked the damage. He assured us it was a deer, because "if it was anything else, we would have stopped where we hit it." At my stop in Orem, this is what I saw. Yes, that is blood spatter and it was all over the side of the car, including the windows.

Happenings

Koda became an official Utahn! I could not get a picture of his face with the tag in it, so there is his paw.

And I chopped my hair

Grandma's Funeral

I don't know if I should have smiled for this picture...

Grandma and Grandpa

The Painters